You're An Idiot
by BOWIEgirl
Summary: Crossover with Law and Order. Ed thought he could hide anything from Cha-Cha, but she knew he was cheating from the day he started. T for language?


Disclaimer: Don't own anything.

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Cha-Cha had seen the wandering eyes early on. Wondering. Both of them were. He wanted to know what that was like, and she wanted to know why he felt he needed anything more. Ed really underestimated her, didn't he? He was some veteran cop. He knew about being careful. She was just a dancer. She wouldn't catch him. Catch on. What did she know?

Quite a lot about cheating, thank you very much. She'd done it enough herself to be a veteran in that department.

Well. She wouldn't go that far.

But damn it she knew what that sudden smile meant. That daydreamy, _what if_ look. Well what if, Ed? What if she did this too? What if she went to go see how much Carmine really liked her? Wouldn't that push your buttons. _I knew it!_ is what he would say, and it would be all about her and he'd let himself off the hook. Play the victim. He was driven to do it because of the year she spent daydreaming about the pizza boy.

That was different. And he knew it. She was too much a coward - and too much _in love_ - to think about ever approaching him. Ed was in love, but he wasn't a coward. God knows how much he loved a good risk. A _gamble._ Well she was a helluva lot to loose, buddy, don't you think?

Then that wondering gaze turned calculating. The when's and where's and how's. She could tell he hadn't done anything yet. But was dying to try. And of all people…

Glitz? Honestly? Cha-Cha had almost laughed when she figured it out. _Glitz is hot, but she has that name for a reason. She is a ditz, Eddie. You think I'm blonde? Try talking to the girl. I'll be you haven't yet. Go on. I dare you. See how sexy that conversation is.  
_

You know, before this all started, she thought Ed coming to the club more often was a great idea. They could be together - sort of - all day. Ed hadn't wanted to, but she made him. Was that ever her biggest mistake. She'd encouraged him to make friends. Didn't want him alone. She and the girls couldn't always be there. Go on. Introduce yourself.

For some reason she found she'd rather shoot Glitz than Ed. Because she still wanted him for herself. She was fine getting a new dancer. Those were replaceable, whereas Ed's were hard to find. Naturally everyone would want one. He was not supposed to hand out cards to everyone who asked!

So fine he wasn't doing that. But _he_ had gone and sat with the tramp. After Cha-Cha told him to meet new people, but that wasn't the point. Friends, Ed. God. Not another girlfriend.

Suddenly he had wanted to come more often. _I'm making friends, like you asked. Now you don't want me to come anymore?_ Fine. Come. Whatever.

He sat just a little too close. Laughed just a little too loud. And she was doing it too. And they'd glance at Cha-Cha, and smile, and then return to talking. When he was supposed to be watching her.

Then. _Then_… She'd known for sure something was up. They came in Friday night like always, and Ed went to a vacant table. Glitz sat on the other side of the room. Now guys, what could have been making this awkward?

He'd either kissed her too deep for friends or he had slept with her. Neither of which were acceptable boyfriend behavior. "Glitzy, how you doin'?" Cha-Cha smiled, plopping down at the table. The queen smiled, eyes going to Cha-Cha's now and then. Answered with a bland 'fine how are you?' "Perfect. Eddie got me tickets to see a show uptown tonight. He's so thoughtful that way." And obviously feeling guilty.

"Oh yeah?" Glitz grinned weakly. "Sounds fun."

Cha-Cha turned to follow the girls eyes. Ed was looking at them, face…peculiar. She wiggled her fingers at him and he instantly smiled. In relief. "Well I better get going. I'm on soon. Don't be a stranger, mkay?" she said, patting Glitz's shoulder as she walked away.

Like hell someone was murdered last night.

She didn't call Lennie to corroborate Ed's story. Either he thought that far in advance and Lennie was going to lie her, or the man didn't know anything and Cha-Cha would hear that they hadn't gotten a call. Ed lied to her. He did something with Glitz. Cha-Cha would have to confront him.

And that wouldn't be pleasant at all. So she'd rather not know. Even though _she knew she was right_.

After her show and Legally Blonde on Broadway - yes, she'd had him sit through Legally Blonde, two and a half hours of pink girlish fluff - she'd taken him home and given him the best night of his life. Follow this, you bitches.

And remember this when you're tempted to stray, Ed.

Apparently his memory failed him quickly. And the awkwardness faded as well. He would sit with Glitz and some girls, occasionally Ivana or Grace. Cha-Cha had alerted them. Ed had to be stupid if he thought she wouldn't. Oh wait, she wasn't supposed to know herself, was she? Still, the girls kept an eye out. Everything at the club was business as usual.

Cha-Cha made a point to sit between them when she could. Hang on Ed's arm, kiss his cheek. Lips too if she thought it was called for. Show off that she could do this whenever she wanted and Glitz had to wait for a citizen to die. Though the crime rate was apparently rising in New York rather fast. She'd then squeeze Glitz's hand, thanking her for keeping Ed company - ha! - and return backstage. And feel like shit. What did he see in that?

A month went by of that. Then another. And another. She thought he'd tire of her by now. That she wouldn't have to step in and do something. It'd be his guilty little 'secret' and it better haunt him for a while. Every time she'd schmooze out an exaggerated confession of love he damn sure better be feeling guilty.

She wished he'd show it a little more though. He seemed so…normal. Which made her think a few times she totally had misinterpreted something. He would look her right in the eyes and promise he loved her so much more than anyone. Not an inkling of doubt or awkward or guilt or anything. But there had to be something.

And it had to be stopped.

Cha-Cha laid on her back, Ed beside her in that post sex silence there always was between them. She'd made certain to be beyond amazing every step of the way. A little reminder of what he had right here, since he liked to forget so much. "I love you Ed," she said simply. He smiled and moved to kiss her neck, but before he got there she continued. "And I want you to leave her."

She could hear Ed swallow hard, he was that close. Sounded…upset. He better not be angry. If anyone had the right to be angry… She assumed he clenched his teeth with that swallow. Hands too, no doubt. Moved away from her to roll to his side. Let out a breath. "Alright."

Her face pinched. She was relieved to get it out in the open. To tell him to shape up and end it and have him to herself again. He'd better leave her. But she'd also held out hope that maybe she had been mistaken. Very small, faint, irrational hope.

"I didn't sleep with her."

Cha-Cha scoffed. "I refuse to believe that."

"I didn't."

"I don't want to hear it. You're so fucking lucky I'm not kicking you out of this bed right now. Don't push it. I don't want to hear it."

Ed laid beside her quietly for another minute. "I didn't love her."

"Just _shut up Ed_," she said as firmly as she could. Cha-Cha blinked quickly. She didn't mind hearing that one. But nothing more.

He put his hand on her arm, "I love you." She jerked away, but both arms appeared around her waist.

"Don't _touch_ me!" She wriggled and squirmed. Very much aware both were completely undressed. She couldn't handle this right now. "Have you even _showered_ since you've _been_ with her?" God what if he hadn't? She'd be sick.

Ed didn't let go. "I've never been with her," he insisted. The last person he'd slept with had been Cha-Cha, ten minutes ago.

"I'm s'posed to believe that?"

"_Yes_."

She thought he would have been too ashamed to touch her this evening. "Stop it! Let me go!" She clawed his chest and he released her. Kicked him just because she wanted to. "Leave me alone tonight." She had quieted.

"Let me apologize."

"Stay over there and do it. You don't have to touch me."

He conceded. "I'm sorry Cha-Cha. It was a mistake. I didn't plan for anything to happen."

She faced the wall, frowning. She had seen him plotting and _planning_ for weeks. He had known what he was doing.

"We were friends like you wanted. And as friends we got a cup of coffee. A lunch. A dinner. All of a sudden I realized one day that maybe we weren't acting like friends anymore."

_You knew exactly what you were doing. You're a goddamn detective, you don't miss something like that_. "You didn't sleep with her?" He repeated his answer. "But you wanted to." He paused a moment, then slowly nodded. "Did you kiss her?"

"Yes."

She wiped at her lips without even realizing it. "That's still enough to piss me off. Just…stop here. I don't want to know. Leave her. That's all I want." Before she could stop herself she asked, "_WHY would_… I don't care. Just leave her." She wanted him to be one hundred percent hers again. And she didn't shake off the hand on her elbow this time.

"Honestly Cha-Cha, it was more like time between friends." Hands wandered a little bit, mouths met, but clothes never left. "There were some things I needed to talk about…that I just couldn't with you."

"Like what?"

"Like you."

Her pinched face tightened even more. Great. So they were talking about her while making out. That's what she wanted to hear right now. "Ed you aren't helping your case at all."

"And work. And life. Things stressing me out on the job." Her assumption about risk taking…might have been right as well. When stressed he liked a gamble. She was right. And he had been willing to bet he could start and end this 'stress relief' without her knowing. He'd been attracted to Glitz physically at first, yes, but he had never slept with her. Might have wanted to a few times, but he hadn't. He knew better. He liked the conversations. The distraction between them. Maybe he could have done without that part. He was allowed to talk to other people. You know, Glitz wasn't as dumb as Cha-Cha thought. But he shouldn't have touched her and he knew that.

"Why couldn't you talk to me?"

"I didn't want my stress to bother you."

She laughed. Harder than she thought she ought to have done. "So you thought running around with Glitz for four months wasn't going to stress me out?"

She'd known that long? "Why didn't you stop me in the beginning?"

"Because I thought you'd realize how fucking fabulous I am on your own." She might have had a slight ego. But she'd earned it. "I thought one of you had to get guilty eventually. And don't even try saying you were going to come clean tomorrow or some shit like that. I'm not an idiot Ed. I don't fall for every stupid little lie. I know you don't catch a murder case as often as you have."

"I'm sorry," he said again. "I don't know why I did it, and I don't know why I let it happen. I do know that I definitely don't deserve you."

"No. You don't."

He moved his hand from her elbow to her shoulder. "Thank you for staying." He didn't know why, but he was eternally grateful. Squeeze. "I love you…more than anything. Honestly."

"You better," she said, rolling over to look at him, propped up on an arm. "I'm serious. You pull this again, I'm outta here. You better put me as numbers one, two, and three on your list." No one comes close to her status, or she'd be suspicious again.

"I will."

She studied his eyes. She knew he hadn't shown any guilt at the time. She could see some now. And another emotion. Maybe desperation. Or desire. To appease her and keep her. And she could see the love. She lowered herself down again to lay on her side. They'd try this again. He'd have to work to get her trust back, but she didn't want him gone completely. "Hold me." Ed moved to take her in his arms carefully. Treated her like she was incredibly fragile, and she appreciated it because she was. She let a few tears leak unseen now, but she never let him see her cry about this afterward.


End file.
